This is so wrong!
by PastaAndFriedChicken
Summary: Felicia Vargas joins her older brothers' track team as a 'secret weapon', and transfers to his school. She's asked to spy on a rival team in the school, and somehow in the process, she falls in love with the team's star, Alfred F. Jones. "HOW CAN THIS EVEN HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE? MY LIFE IS TURNING INTO A CHEESY FANFICTION WRITTEN BY A GIRL WITH NO FRIENDS!" *America X Fem!North Italy
1. Intruder in the House

**AN: Er, Hi everyone! Long time, no anything, right? ****Euhh.. I can explain that. I've been on DeviatArt and stuff... I know, I know, should be updating the other stories, but I've really fallen in love with America X North Italy, and there aren't many fics for that here...**

**Small notice: I used Fem!North Italy, and her name is Felicia.**

**So, enjoy?**

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Felicia ran around the backyard, desperate to finish her last lap. The other four members on her track team were already done and probably showered. It wasn't like she was lazy, though. She was just supposed to do more laps than the others, a full twenty more.

Finally finished with her fifty laps, she walked into her team's training house, absolutely drained. She flopped onto the leather couch, chugging the water she had in her canteen.

She looked around the room. It was neat, as usual, and very comfortable. It had to be, since it acted as a boarding house for them during the school year. They had just gotten back there that week, and school started the next day. There were some boxes of things still around the place that were not unpacked.

"Oi, sorella, we're going out again today." Her older brother, Lovino, called out to her. Really, they looked more like twins than regular siblings. Though, his eyes were olive, and hers were brown, and his skin was just a little tanner. "Do you want to come?"

She knew he was asking just to be polite. They were obviously going out for guy time. She did really want to go with the four boys, but she'd feel as though she was imposing. "Nah, I'd ruin your fun, veh~. Anyways, there's a lot stuff I still need to do here. Go on ahead." She smiled a little to let him know she was fine. He nodded and started walking out the door. Kiku Honda, Japanese man, gave her a small smile and a nod. Gilbert blew a kiss at her, right before getting a smack from his younger brother, Ludwig, who gave her a nod.

She didn't get up and wave as they left. She never did. Mostly because she knew she'd break down crying if she watched then leave her home alone. Felicia thought she'd get used to being a tool, a machine to help them win. When she had joined the team a month or so ago, she had been told that their plan in bringing her in was to catch their rival team, The Allies, by surprise and beat them with her amazing speed. She shouldn't have expected them to include her in everything; she was the only girl after all. She shouldn't have expected to become an equal; she shouldn't have expected Ludwig to notice her...

Sighing, Felicia pushed those thoughts out if her mind. She needed to relax, and a nice bubble bath would do the trick. She took the scrunchie out of her hair, letting it fall down her back in auburn ringlets. She pulled off her tank top (which was slightly sweaty) and removed her black shorts. Felicia was just about to remove her bra when she heard a very loud noise from downstairs. Her eyes widened in shock, which quickly changed to anger. 'Someone is in the house...? Do they really think they can steal from me that easily?'

She hurriedly covered herself with a white, pink-flowered robe and grabbed a heavy book off her nightstand, which happened to be her college entrance exam test prep book. 'Oh course this shit happens when the guys go out somewhere!' She hissed in her mind.

There was another creak.

She gripped the book and started down the stairs, bottom lip quivering slightly. Felicia was close enough now to know that the noise was coming from the office, where they kept track records and credentials and all. She asked herself, 'Who on earth would go find our credentials?' The immediate answer her mind gave her was another team. Now, who would be so desperate to win that they would sneak into their training ground to find stuff on them?

Someone ready to die, obviously.

The question was, who were they targeting? Trying to sabotage Gilbert, with his perfect hurtle jumps, or Kiku who was amazing in the 50 meter dash? It could be anyone!

Slowly, she crept into the office. There, she saw someone clothed in all black. In his hand was her track record. She was pissed. Felicia realized she had been the target all along. She raised the book over her head, ready to bring it down on the intruder.

That is, until he turned around and looked her.

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**I hoped you liked it?**


	2. That one awkward chapter

**AN: Hi guys! I got a new chapter in!**

**So, I had to type this entire thing on my iPod... I think I got rid of all spelling mistakes, but please tell my if you spot any ;n;**

**This will be an awkward chapter. Enjoy~**

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Alfred watched through the bushes while the members of his rival track team, The Axis, climbed into a red Honda Civic and drove away. He beamed. Perfect timing. It would have been hard to collect information on their new 'secret weapon' with them in the house! After all, heroes can't get caught!

He pulled the black hood of his jacket over his blonde hair, blue eyes shining mischievously. He then put on one of those eye masks that still showed his eyes. 'I'm gonna get those reports, and get them to the team, Hero Style! We gotta know who this new guy is!' he thought as he walked to an open window, climbing in silently. He needed to get this job done quickly. He was expected to, being the main reason the Allies pummeled the Axis every meet.

If only stealth came with that speed.

He cringed slightly when he knocked over some books, happy no one was in the house. He thought he heard a little movement from upstairs, but he brushed it off as his imagination. He looked around the enemies training grounds for a bit until he finally found the office. He pushed the door slightly and it made a little creaking noise.

Alfred looked through some drawers until he FINALLY found what he was looking for: The Axis' member credentials. He pulled out four of them. 'L. Beilschmidt, K. Honda, G. Beilschmidt, L. Vargas...' He sighed in frustration. None of those were right! Those were the same bad guys they had been racing before! He was about to give up when he saw a paper clip attached to Vargas' folder. He removed it, and yet another folder fell into his hand, one marked F. Vargas. 'So the new guy is related to Vargas!' He thought as he opened the folder, peering inside.

The first thing he saw was a photo of a girl a year or two older than him, with long auburn hair in a ponytail, and a wayward curl of to the left of her head. She smiled widely, winking at the camera throwing out a peace sign. She looked... really cute, but why was she in the record folder...? He mentally smacked himself. So the new guy wasn't a guy after all.

He continued reading her file, finding that her name was Felicia Vargas, the irate Italian Lovino's little sister. Alfred found she was a beast in the one-hundred meter dash, one of his own events. 'Of course the cutie has to be my nemesis!' Why not Francis, or Arthur? No one likes them anyways!' After he went through her records, all there was useless information about her interests and such. Why was he still looking at it? Maybe he was bored? Or he could find stuff he could use against her! Yeah, let's go with that!

Then he heard a creak behind him. He suddenly remembered he hadn't seen Miss Felicia leave. Only four people left the house, not five.

Hahaha, fail.

He turned around and saw a girl, who he knew was Felicia, behind him, arms raised and holding a large book that surely would have given him a rather large bump if she had brought it down on him. Her hair was down, curling slightly at the ends, and her brown eyes shone with anger, which turned to fear when he turned around. Her pink lips were in a flat line, trembling slightly. Her arms shook, and she looked around, not knowing what to do. 'She looks like she's about to cry!' Alfred felt an intense need to calm her down, to let her know he didn't mean any harm. After all, even though she was a villain, she was a damsel in distress, and being a hero, he couldn't let her cry like that. Plus, she looked really cute in that flowered robe.

"Hey there-"

"THEIF!" She cried and tried to bring the book down on his head. He caught it with a look of shock on his face.

"H-Hey, calm down! I'm trying to-" She hit him over the head with the book five times before he was able to catch it. He threw it so she couldn't hit him again. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" His cheeks were bright red in anger.

"Che? What's wrong with ME? You broke into my home, invaded my privacy, and looked at my file!" She motioned towards the table, where the file lay discarded and open. "I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE AS PISSED AS I FEEL NECESSARY!"

"WELL IT'S MY DUTY AS HERO TO FIND INFO ON THE BADGUYS!"

"BADGUYS? WHAT? HERO MY ASS!" And she lunged at him, hands poised for his throat. They got into a heated tumble, in which the American tried to keep the Italian woman from clawing his neck with her nails. They rolled out of the room, almost knocking over tables and bumping into random things. It finally ended a few minutes later with Felicia hovering over Alfred, her hands keeping him pinned down. The two gasped for breath, looking at the other with hard eyes.

"Don't you dare move, veh." Felicia hissed after gaining a little breath.

Alfred took a few breaths "Now why would I? I've got a cute Italian chick, wearing nothing but a bath robe, sitting over me and panting. Who would want to miss an opportunity like this?" He said, smirking when she flushed more. His smirk disappeared quickly, though, when she put one hand over his throat.

"Don't test me..." She hissed. Well, that situation turned sour pretty fast. Al needed to think of a way to escape, and quick. He could find a soft spot, like her chest. He considered kneeing her there, but knew from personal experience that it only made girls pissed off. He could pull her hair, but he didn't know if it would work. He decided that he would push her over, so that he would be above her, and he would be able to escape.

"Now explain your-EEEP!" Felicia yelped as they started tumbling again, this time it ended with Alfred above her. She turned bright red. "G-Get off, pervertito!"

Alfred was about to respond when the front door was thrown open. It revealed a heavily-breathing Lovino, who had forced the others back, because he felt something off in the house.

"I TOLD YOU BASTARDS! I TOLD YOU!" He reveled in his victory until he finally processed what was happening. "CHE COZZA? WHO IN FUCKS NAME ARE YOU? FELICIA, HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING SECRETS? ARE YOU DATING THIS GUY?"

She blushed brighter. "LIKE HELL I WOULD! THIS GUY BROKE INTO THE-" She didn't finish the sentence, since Lovino jumped the intruder, crying 'PERVERT!' and 'RAPIST!' and such. Gilbert whooped and joined in, trying to tie him up. Alfred eventually got free, dodging Ludwig's arms as he tried to catch him. "SEE YOU LATER ALL!" he yelled as ran out the door and down the street.

"FUCKING BASTARD!" Lovi flipped over a table in a rage.

"Ah, L-Lovino, please calm down..." Kiku pleaded. "We'll get to the bottom of this, so please don't flip things!" He tugged at the taller mans sleeve, desperate to calm him down, his brown eyes filled with worry. Lovino looked at Kiku, and the rage on his face disappeared a little. Everyone sighed in relief. It was good Kiku had a calming effect on people.

"Fine. I won't flip tables, for now." He then looked at Felicia and handed her a take-out box. "Eat it. It's Tortellini. Sit down, while you're at it. I want to know what the fuck happened, beginning to end."

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**This ended up really long ;7; I hope you like it...**

**Translation**

**Pervertito= Pervert (Italiano)**

**Che= What (Italiano)**

**Che cozza= What the Fuck (Italiano**)


	3. The First day of School

**Look who's finally updated!**

**I'm so sorry about how late this is. My summer has been CRAAAZY. Plus, I didn't want to put this up until I started chapter 6.**

**Well, it's here now! I hope you enjoy! It's five pages long!**

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_Monday/First day of school._

The next morning, Felicia flopped into her chair for breakfast. She already hated being in school. It was four-thirty in the morning, and everyone, even Ludwig, was dead tired after getting used to their summer schedules. She was more tired than she usually would be, since the night before had been occupied with drilling her about every detail she remembered about the intruder. Really, she only remembered blue eyes (and a slightly crooked grin) so it wasn't very productive.

They all sat in their seats, looking like zombies with severe bed head. In the kitchen, they heard a soft humming, and the smell of bacon and eggs.

"Hey! You're already awake!" A brown-haired Hungarian called, bringing in plates with piled sausage, eggs, pancakes, and a pitcher of orange juice. It was none other than one of their school year tenants, Elizaveta, whom had appeared the night before. Elizaveta was one of the only reasons they ever ate breakfast on school mornings. This benefitted their school work, and Liz benefitted because she got a discount on the already low rent for cooking everyone breakfast.

She brought out plates for everyone. "Help yourselves!" She smiled and went back into the kitchen. The five sitting at the table muttered and grabbed at the food. Elizaveta came in and sat next to Felicia. Everyone ate in silence.

"Hey, where's that prissy Roderich?" Gilbert piped up, mentioning another tenant. Elizaveta shrugged.

"Probably still getting his beauty sleep." Lovino growled. There was an agitated sigh, as said prissy Austrian had chosen that time to come downstairs.

"I tried to, but you're loud mouths stopped me." He grumbled as he grabbed some breakfast and sat next to Ludwig.

"Well, since we're all here, let's enjoy breakfast and not fight, okay?" Elizaveta suggested sweetly, but the undertone she used confirmed it was not a suggestion. Everyone grumbled and continued eating. Felicia was the first to finish, so she was able to go upstairs and shower while the water was still warm. She started changing when Elizaveta came into their room.

"So, Felicia, are you ready for your first day at Hetalia World High?" She asked excitedly as she brushed her long hair.

Feli shrugged. "I suppose... I still don't understand why I had to transfer this year." She muttered while she buttoned up her white dress shirt.

"Oh, the only way you can compete with them is to go to the same school. That way, you would be ending school at the same time and could create a better training schedule."

"I see..." Felicia was about to pull her hair up, but Elizaveta took the bow from her.

"Keep it down." She ordered and put on her own clothes. When finished, Liz pulled Felicia over so they could look at themselves in the mirror. Hetalia's girl school uniform consisted of a red plaid skirt, a white button up dress shirt, a yellow sweater vest, and a red blazer. Of course, students weren't required to wear all the items if clothing, though some did. Felicia chose to wear the sweater vest over the dress shirt, and of course the skirt. Liz wore the dress shirt, and a version of the skirt that included suspenders, and the blazer. "Are we cute or what?" She beamed. "Now if you would only put on some makeup-"

"No, Liz." Felicia replied flatly.

"Gah! Fine... Let's head downstairs so we can pack our bags." The two headed downstairs, where the boys were already waiting.

Kiku smiled, "The uniform fits you, Felicia-san."

"Yeah! You look cute, little sis!" Gilbert laughed and squeezed her. Felicia giggled when he spun her around. She sighed when Lovino pulled her away, and Gilbert protested.

"SHE ONLY HAS ONE BROTHER HERE, AND THAT'S ME!" Lovi fumed, face red from his unneeded anger. Felicia gave her brother a pat on the head to calm him. She glanced over at Ludwig, who was too busy packing his bag to notice her. 'Typical' she thought bitterly. Walking over to her backpack, she grabbed all her supplies before stuffing them inside it. Afterwards, she decided to pack some leftover tortellini for lunch, bringing some extra money in case she needed it. Done.

"Hey, Fratello, how much time do we have left before we have to leave?"

"About... Fourteen minutes left."

"Okay." She stood up and walked into the living room, pulling out her sketch pad and a mechanical pencil. Feli wanted to make the most if their time left over by doodling and refining her anatomy. She got lost in the movement if her hands as she drew, not completely knowing what was going on around her, or what she was drawing.

"Okay, are you done yet Feli?" Felicia looked up to see that everyone was already packed and at the door, ready to go. Lovino was tapping his foot impatiently, looking at his watch.

"O-Oh! Mi dispiace, everyone!" She quickly shut her book, not taking the time to look at it, and pushed it into her bag before standing up to join the others. They walked outside, climbed into Ludwig's truck, and drove off.

~*#*~

"Are you sure you got the right file?" A green-eyed blonde with large eyebrows asked the blue eyed one next to him. The others around them watched curiously. This group was none other than the Allies, the leading track team in the state. The group currently stood outside the school at a picnic table. A few students stood near and around them, chatting. The two conversing happened to be Arthur Kirkland, a co-captain, and the teams star, Alfred F. Jones.

"Of course I did! Her name us Felicia! Heroes don't fail!" Alfred whined. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I can't seem to make sense of the fact that Vargas has a sister that doesn't even go to this school." The Brit stated, staring at his adopted brother.

"In order for her to compete with them, she has to go to the same school as them, da?" The tallest of the group, Ivan, asked in his childish voice. Another member, Yao, nodded.

"Are girls even allowed on track teams like this one, aru?"

"Well, it's not against the rules..." Francis muttered, pushing his blonde tresses out of his face. "It is always possible, Arthur."

"Shut up, frog." Arthur yelled at his co-captain. Francis flipped the bird right in Arthur's face and the Brit spluttered. How the two of them were able to manage the team together was beyond anyone. "Alfred probably got the wrong file. Maybe it was a ploy to confuse anyone who tried to look for them." Arthur nodded smugly, positive that he was right.

Alfred started speaking. "But I saw her-"

"Rubbish." Arthur snapped.

"Gah!" Al groaned in defeat. His brother could not be swayed once he made up his mind. The bell rang then, so the five of them got up and walked towards the school. As they walked inside, something occurred to Al.

"Where's Maddie?" He asked, referring to his twin sister. Turning to Ivan, he glared accusingly. "Did you sit on her again?"

Ivan shook his head. "Nope! My butt was uncushioned~!" Al stared at the taller man, shaking his head.

"... I hope she's alright..." Al muttered while they continued on their way. At an intersection in the hallway, they said their goodbyes and split up, following their schedules in order to find their new homerooms.

Alfred walked into Miss Applebee's homeroom. He heard she was nice, so he was relieved. Like always, a few girls flirted and winked. He just waved back, and took a seat near the back. While everyone talked, he just doodled and wrote in a notebook. After fifteen minutes, the bell sounded again, and Miss Applebee told the class to stand up, as there was going to be a welcome back assembly for the school in the auditorium.

When everyone was inside, they stood to do the Pledge of Allegiance (The school is in America) and sat through a long welcome back speech for students who did not yet graduate, and for the Freshman and students filling the classroom space of their home country. They talked about Hetalia's purpose, which was to bring a brilliant student from every country in the world to the school, hopefully promoting camaraderie around the world. The principal explained field trips and things they would do throuhgt the school year. Al yawned and sank into his chair. He'd heard all of it before. When were they gonna talk about something new?

"...I will now turn the mic over to the school's founder, Mr. Romulus Caesar." Alfred sat up. Well, this would be interesting. Mr. Caesar never came on stage to announce something the first day of school. He couldn't help but watch intently as the happy brunette man, whom was called Rome, came to the podium.

"Hey guys!" Rome began, "I don't want to take too much more of your class time, so I'll make this quick! You all know how we invite only one student from each country, and when a person from one country graduates, we bring in a successor? Well, this year, we'll have two students from Italy." Immediately, people began murmuring. All wondered who this mystery student that was somehow able to stretch the rule was. Alfred fidgeted, for he had a pretty good idea who it was.

Rome continued. "You all know my grandson, Lovino Vargas. The second Italian entering is his younger sister, Felicia Vargas!" 'So she came here after all!' Al smirked. From his seat near the front, he could see Arthur, the student body president, go pale, remembering what his brother had told him about Felicia. The auburn girl was ushered onto the stage, where she stood next to her grandpa and fiddled with her hands. "Now we don't usually do this, but I made an exception for my granddaughter. So now, instead of calling Lovino Italy when doing assignments that require it, refer to him as South Italy or Romano. His sister shall be called North Italy or Venenziana. I just wanted to let you all know! Be careful on your way back to class." With that, the students began walking out of the auditorium. On his way out, Alfred was stopped by Julius. Behind him stood Felicia and Lovino.

"You're America, or Alfred F. Jones right?" The older gentleman boomed. Al nodded shyly. "You're in Miss Applebee's class, because you skipped a grade? And you're on that track team, The Allies?" Again Alfred nodded. The brunette man grinned, barely noticing when Feli hissed behind him. He pushed Felicia forward, and the girl let out a small yelp. "Felicia, this guy here will be showing you around school and stuff! He has the exact same schedule as you. He'll be your buddy, so stay close! Sound good?" Neither could really argue. Lovino made a noise that let his grandfather know he disapproved. Julius shoed the three off so they could go to their classes.

The walk was extremely awkward. Lovi stood on one side, muttering about the "Allied Bastard", Alfred on the other side, mumbling about "Strange Italian asshats", and Felicia in the middle, trying not to smack the two on each side of her and run away screaming profanities while dumping lemonade all over the hallway.

Venenziana could not shake off the feeling there was something behind this whole situation. She knew for a fact her grandfather was a crafty man, and there was no way in hell he didn't know about the problems between the Axis and Allies. The bastard was planning something, and Feli wanted to find out. The group soon came to a place they would have to split up for classes.

Lovino turned to Alfred, his eyes narrowed. "If anything happens to my sister, I'll break your leg so that you'll never run again, Allied bastard. Don't try anything." With that, the hotheaded boy turned on his heel and walked to class. Alfred looked after Lovino, suddenly pissed. The guy talked as though he dictated his sisters' life! She could decide whether or not she hung out with him! Wait, why did he even care?

Felicia fumed inwardly, but turned to Alfred with a calm look on her face. She studied him, with his blonde hair, sky blue eyes, and mouth tipped in some sort of scowl. When he looked back at her, she shifted, noticing how tall he really was. After a few awkward seconds, she spoke. "Ya know, you don't actually have to show me around. My brother doesn't like you, so..."

Al blinked a couple times. He chuckled and ruffled the girls' hair. "I can't do that! I was given my heroic duty by none other than your grandpa, the mega boss! We'll be inseparable for the week!" He smiled. Feli cringed, noticing how he talked a lot like the man who broke into the house. Similar eyes, too.

Al noticed the way she cringed. That was odd; he didn't mean to scare her... But he always seemed to do that. Maybe he talked too loud, like Arthur said. He didn't want to make her almost cry like he did when he broke into her house-

Alfred randomly grabbed the green backpack Feli was holding and slung it over his own shoulders. He then grabbed her hand in order to pull her with him. He realized standing there for so long would make them late to class.

"H-Hey! What the fuck are you doing, man?" Feli felt her cheeks heat up as she tried to pull her hand out of his grip. Instead of letting go, Al's grip tightened. Felicia whimpered and stopped struggling. Hey! Don't laugh like that! It hurt!

Alfred wasn't in the mood for her fighting him, so he simply picked her up and carried her bridal style. Felicia hissed. "I have to hold on tight! Since you're the mega bosses' granddaughter, you're in a lot of danger! If I hold on, no one will wanna mess with you!" He reasoned, with a very determined look on his face. Feli had to admit he looked pretty cute like that-

Wait what?

Alfred was also thinking weird things about Feli. 'If I'm the hero, and she's the ultra bosses daughter, does that mean-' Now, Alfred, I'll have to stop you right there. It's too early in the story for you to fall for each other! I must keep my readers in suspense!

When they got to the classroom, Al walked in like it was totally normal to carry a small Italian girl into a home room. Alfred placed Felicia in a seat next to his. She blushed and sank into her seat. She knew everyone's eyes were fixed on her. Feli didn't care about that; she was more stressed about the fact that they saw her getting carried in like a little doll. Feli didn't know whether or not to cry right then and there. She didn't want to seem like a weakling or anything, but she was really embarrassed.

"A-Ah, everyone, let's start class now." Miss Applebee spoke up. Everyone's eyes immediately left Alfred and Felicia and turned towards the board. With a shaken sigh, Feli pulled out a notebook, ready to start labeling or whatever she needed to do.

"Hey, Felicia!" Alfred whisper-talked, distracting Feli from her work.

"... What is it?"

"Your boobs felt, like, really big when they were touching my chest. Cup size, please."

Well, at least school wouldn't be boring this year!

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**I'm not even sorry. Well, maybe a _little..._**

**I'm so mean to Felicia...**

**Fun fact: The average cup size of an Italian female is a C-cup, which is the same size as that of an American female! Therefore, the fem! Italians would both be the same cup size as Fem! America.**

**THE MORE YOU KNOW!**

**Translation**  
**Mi dispiace- I'm sorry (Italian)**  
**Da- Yes (Russian)**


End file.
